ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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