that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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