So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
