Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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