it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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