this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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