Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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