A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
