His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize