and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
