I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
