You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
