so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
