My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize