Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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