He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
