That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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