Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
