Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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