well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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