if you like me you must not know who I am
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
