He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Randomize
