We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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