She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
