If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
