So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
