Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
