problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize