Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
