My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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