So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
