I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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