it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
