Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize