He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
