I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
