Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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