you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
