Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
