then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
