There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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