You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
