i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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