I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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