My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize