Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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