I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
