butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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