We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize