Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
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Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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