reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
