One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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