If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
