On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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