Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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