just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
