Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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