You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
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Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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