My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
