I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize