Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize