For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
